the past few weeks is the lowest ive felt and been about myself and it’s really getting to me cause i honestly dont know what do.

ive never felt good enough for anything ive learnt to deal with that after being told it multiple times by different members of my family and because of last years gcse grades, yeah hands down i admitt it i could of done better than what i did but all ive ever tried to do is be the best that i can and thats still not enough for some people.sometimes i dont think you realise how much some comments you say actually effect me and how they play on my mind. but thing is since last year ive tried my hardest with everything, school, relationship, friends family. but yet i always get put down for something or another.

& the past few weeks it has really hit me hard just how much it has effected me,physically, mentally and emotionally. & this is the only way i can release all of my emotions and get them out. i know ive been stupid with things recently but that has nothing to do with you, it’s more about myself and how insecure i feel about things. i know im not perfect but sometimes i wish you could understand how i feel and see that im hurting right now and that i need you more than anything when i haven’t been able to be with you all the time. just so i know that its not me just being stupid and that you do care.

a year ago today i went to my most favourite place with him <3

i havent had a night feeling like this in a while, and i hate how its making me feel. i dont know what to do with myself and no one is awake or up to talk to me or distract me from worrying about why i feel this way, i hope the next few hours go fast so i dont feel so alone anymore (: x